Felt Sad, Might Delete Later

Sometimes I wonder whether my words would mean more if I was dead, than if I was alive. In theory, it makes sense, humans typically treasure the past more than the present, there’s a reason why society has treasured so many creatives only after they’ve died; Vincent Van Gogh is a prime example. It’s a dark thought, but I’ve considered being the Van Gogh of writing, but maybe without the missing ear.

There’s a stereotype where it’s considered oversharing to talk about your feelings and maybe it’s there for a reason, but I can’t keep giving people an unrealistic view of myself. Sharing isn’t really something I prioritise; mainly because I value my privacy, but I can’t keep living a superficial social media lie. For those who’ve known me for a while, this whole issue is part of the reason why I left social media in the first place.

This post is already such a mess and I hate disclosing any personal information about myself, but I’m going to try a little honesty. Transparency is dead on social media and I’ve always held myself a little distant, but I can do that without ignoring the shit and pretending that everything’s butterflies and rainbows.

I know the purpose of my existence and I’ve realised that people are more attracted to pain than constant happiness. Darkness is sexier than light and it’s time to embrace it.

Happy birthday A, I hope I broke your birthday bad luck. 

I’m letting go so I can begin a new chapter, there’s no point in glorifying the past while ignoring the present.


Sidenote: I am okay, thanks for asking, I’m just a hot mess from time to time…most of the time.

Shatter My Moon – My

Chapter 2
Digital Redesign of Emperial Dawn’s Drawing

“How the hell do you know who I am?” I demanded, checking that my mask was still covering my face.

“I have my sources.” Yang winked at me before flicking her eyes towards my ears.

I was ready to slice her throat open. “You do realise I’m the one with a sword at your neck, don’t you?”

Yang didn’t get a chance to respond, her doorbell interrupted our moment.

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2192: Nerves – Another Useless Fight Sequence

Chapter 4If you haven’t read the previous chapters of 2192: Nerves, Click Here!


Anton

Sector 7, Tamiku

Saturday August 11th, 2192

When the tank blipped onto my radar, I knew I made the right choice. Protecting innocent lives without uprooting them was a delicate balance, but for once my decision had a happy ending. Maybe not for me. Trying to be a hero had a cost, one that I was willing to pay. Even though I grew up without my parents, that didn’t mean that kids like Henry had to be subjected to the same fate.

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Shatter My Moon – Shatter

Chapter 1
Digital Redesign of Emperial Dawn’s Drawing

A shattered moon raced across the rooftops and shone against the bulletproof window panes, partially blocking my view of the apartment within. Two hours had passed since the lights had switched off in the apartment, hopefully enough time for the sole resident to enter a deep sleep. My target was Yang Xiao Long, a gang leader of some sort. I’d heard her name, but I didn’t pay much attention at my earlier briefing. All the kills were the same anyway, scope out the target’s location, decide on the easiest way to kill them and then do it.

I worked for the Schnee Death Company, run by the legendary Weiss Schnee. Not by choice, but it was hard to get work when you had cat ears attached to your head. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade my enhanced senses and extra appendages for the world, but being an assassin for a Schnee wasn’t exactly my career of choice.

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2192: Nerves – Bleach

Chapter 3If you haven’t read the previous chapters of 2192: Nerves, Click Here!


Ventro – Bleach

Sector 7, Tamiku

Saturday August 11th, 2192

As I paced down the cold passageway towards the office, I kept my face neutral; even though I was dreading every second. The plush carpet was a light grey, filling the wide hallway and softening the light space. Hidden cameras burrowed in the walls, barely visible to even the most trained eye. My feet stopped before his door. With a deep breath, I held my hand on the handle, waiting for my fingerprint to be read. After hearing the lock click open, I stepped into his office, the smell of bleach reflected in the space that looked like a freshly cleaned hospital room.

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2192: Nerves – Wildfire

Chapter 2If you haven’t read the first chapter of 2192: Nerves, Click Here!


Anton – Waking Up

Hopefully Sector 7, Tamiku

Probably August 2192

Darkness slowly drifted from my cloudy vision as I regained consciousness. My first thought ripped through my brain like a wildfire, why am I still alive? Vaguely familiar numbness ached in my head, reminding me of numerous sleepless nights. Every nerve in my body pulsed as I tried to sit up, the initial shock of pain forcing my body back against the unfamiliar grey fabric that wrapped the two-seater couch beneath me.

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Mixtape 2018

DSC_1057

I’ve always said that if you understand my relationship with music, you’ll uncover the deepest, darkest parts of me. Well, I’ve never actually said it and it’s definitely not true but whatever, it sound cool and makes me seem all dark and mysterious which is apparently an appealing trait. Anyway, I’ll shut up.

This year has been crazy for me. It’s cheesy, but I’ve grown so much as a person and my life has changed dramatically, for better or worse. For the most part, music has just been the soundtrack to my life, a way for me to relate to my feelings and understand myself better. Even though music has always been a part of me, I’ve dug so much deeper this year and it seems fair that I should put together my first mixtape. Well, technically it’s a playlist but mixtape sounds cooler.

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